Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Naked man jumps on cars, tasered

I can't decide if the manner in which this story completely fails to hang together or make any kind of sense is bad journalism, or just because it's the USA and hey, stuff like this happens.

Naked man hit with stun gun

AUSTIN, Texas (KXAN) - It was a shocking sight for North Austin neighbors on Sunday morning, when a stark naked man ran around a parking lot, jumping up and down on cars and trucks. Police responded to a call of two men fighting at the 8200 block of Sam Rayburn Drive, but when they got there, they found a man on top of a car, jumping and beating on its roof.

"When I came outside, that man, he was jumping off the fence, jumping on the truck," said Martha Gonzalez, a neighbor who witnessed the scene. "He just wanted dope. He was just trippin' because the guy didn't want to give him none."

Police officials said Sunday that they believe the 28-year-old man was under the influence of some kind of drug, possibly PCP.

Go, Chief Wiggum, that's some bad-ass detectorin' there.

"He was like butt-naked," said Gonzalez. "He didn't have nothing, no underwear, nothing, just going off."

Another neighbor, Maria Leal, said they were waiting for the police to take him away, when he damaged their fence and dented their truck.

"Naked, without clothes, without nothing!" said Leal. "It's not right. I want them to help us clean the streets."

Um, what?

Leal's grandaughter, Lanina Castillo, was also home when it happened.

"I got scared because I heard this thing fall and all the stuff just fell and broke," said Castillo.

What thing? What stuff? What the fuck are you on about?

Neighbors believe the man wanted drugs.

Thanks, Captain Obvious! He was on them. The neighbours were on them. This reads like you were on them, Mr Small Town Journalist.

"We have had other conflicts, other issues in the neighborhood, but never someone stripping down and creating a seen [sic] like that," said Gonzalez.

Police say they used a Taser [on] the 28-year-old man and took him to Brackenridge hospital for further assessment.

In accordance with standard procedure. "Lessee what it says here in the police manual... un-huh, page one zero four, 'Disturbed individual, subtype five: naked, unarmed, but clearly out of their mind - taser them until they shit themselves.' Hey, don't look at me like that, Travis, that's what it says. Got to keep the lawyers busy somehow."
He was later booked in the Travis County Jail. APD officials are not releasing his name at this time.

Just wow. Only in Texas.

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